Well, a few minutes anyway. Not too much time, but still too much for "this" in my opinion.
and you're probably wondering, "what is *this*?"
*this* would be... that old nemesis of mine.
Too many things going on in a very very small amount of time for the past (and next) couple of days. So much pressure that I place upon myself at the same time. it's like a radiator about to explode. I can hardly contain myself.
But you know what? I know that the anxiety can lead to other things. So I like to keep the anxiety monster away. I calmed the beast within myself today...just enough. Just enough to remain contained. Hopefully I'll have the same amount of strength or more, the next time I need it. Because there's still more left to get done, I'm not finished, and I know I'll be teetering on the edge again.
The fear comes from the possibility of giving in to the anxiety - letting myself spiral in the tornado-like feelings of hopelessness and fear. And just beyond those wonderful gems? Anxiety's BFF - depression. I haven't been that far down in a long time and don't plan on it any time soon.
Depression and it's miserable friend anxiety -- they can both piss off.