Thursday, August 2, 2012

Pull up a chair because this'll take a minute or two.

Well, a few minutes anyway.   Not too much time, but still too much for "this" in my opinion.
 and you're probably wondering, "what is *this*?"
*this* would be... that old nemesis of mine. 
Too many things going on in a very very small amount of time for the past (and next) couple of days.  So much pressure that I place upon myself at the same time.  it's like a radiator about to explode. I can hardly contain myself.  
But you know what?   I know that the anxiety can lead to other things.  So I like to keep the anxiety monster away. I calmed the beast within myself today...just enough. Just enough to remain contained. Hopefully I'll have the same amount of strength or more, the next time I need it. Because there's still more left to get done, I'm not finished, and I know I'll be teetering on the edge again. 
The fear comes from the possibility of giving in to the anxiety - letting myself spiral in the tornado-like feelings of hopelessness and fear.  And just beyond those wonderful gems?  Anxiety's BFF - depression. I haven't been that far down in a long time and don't plan on it any time soon. 

Depression and it's miserable friend anxiety -- they can both piss off.

1 comment:

  1. I wish I could help you take a deep breath and relax. I could tell you that worrying about things you have no control over is like spitting into the wind. I could tell you that it'll all work out regardless of how you drive ourself nuts. I also KNOW that you have the strength of viking warrior, the knowledge of Einstein and the wisdom of the ancients.